Questions

DISCLAIMER: If you cannot openly and honestly discuss the subject of religion, and you are given to leaving comments containing verses from the "Roman Road," please read no further. Just be satisfied that you will not see me in heaven.

In class today, I made a long list of faith-related issues that bring me misery ... these are problems that I cannot resolve, questions that seem to have no answer. These are the things that pull me away from Christianity. Allow me to share these with you ... I want to hear your thoughts.

I'm only going to pose one question at a time. After a couple of days, I'll create another post containing a different question ... and so on ...

Question 1

Is thoughtless faith more legitimate than thoughtful disbelief? I have trouble believing that an unquestioning, childlike faith is the key to salvation ... that allows one to live a life of complacent ignorance and denial.

Perhaps salvation is found in my willingness to struggle and plague myself with hard questions. One who wrestles with the identity and truth of God is one who lives in the trenches of faith. If I don't doubt Christ, I don't think about Christ. But even in my doubt, my thoughts about faith are much more serious than the thoughts of those who never question their beliefs.

Everyone doubts, whether or not they choose to admit it. Maybe salvation exists only for those who don't deny their doubt, but, rather, choose to live with it. Perhaps "the saved" are those who willingly sacrifice confidence in their own salvation.

Life is beautiful

You, too, can have my crazy face in your wedding. All it takes is a ring, folks. Get that ball rolling.

I figured it was high time I shared this with someone: When I write song lyrics, my nose runs like crazy. I seriously blow my nose every 4-5 minutes. It's ridiculous.

Eye Candy

For those of you who have sold your soul to the digital camera ... take a look at these bad boys ... behold the power of film.

For the rest of you, who would just like to see some photos from the Arkansas trip ... check 'em out right here ... complete with commentary.

Tales from the ____

We're heading up to Dallas in an hour or so to start work on Marshall's record. Verge Music Works (pictured above) is owned by Martin Baird, who I met at Marshall's show on Friday. Seems to know what he's doing -- so I'm excited about that. I'm a studio junkie, so I'll enjoy it, regardless.

The camping trip to Arkansas was a blast. Wags and I did a lot of hiking, climbing, caving and running from thunderstorms. I've developed most of the photos, but I still need to scan them. When they're up, I'll let you know.



Probably the most exciting part of the trip (for me) was seeing the remains of Dogpatch USA, a theme park I visited when I was around 5 years old. It was spooky to see things I vaguely remember, and even spookier to see them rotted and overgrown. I went on that trip looking for ghosts, and I found them at Dogpatch.



Stephen and I also hiked out to Hawksbill Crag (above) for the most spectacular view in the Ozarks. It made me feel tiny and insignificant, and I dig that. That and ghosts -- that's why I had to go to the mountains. I need to feel small, and I need to be haunted.

I'm off to Dallas and sweet rock music. Class begins tomorrow, and I'm less than excited about it. Yeah. Peace.

Long, long gone

I'm heading out early in the morning for the delicious Ozark mountains in northern Arkansas. Rivers, trails, and adventure await. I'll see you Wednesday.

FreakOut

I just had the strangest dream. Yes, I know it's late in the afternoon, but I laid down for a little nap about, oh, 4 o'clock.

In my dream, my aunt Kima had asked me to write a few short children's stories for a collection she was putting together for her daughter. I agreed. I also agreed to watch said daughter, who was just recently potty-trained. I spent most of the dream chasing the little girl around ... she was crying and couldn't be convinced to go to the bathroom. Kisses, sweet-talk and encouragement didn't work.

Amidst the frenzy of the crying child, I somehow ended up in a dark water tank. I had lights attached to the sides of the tank so I could see. I wrestled around frantically, trying to escape. But then another man was in the tank with me. He began to narrate the whole scene in a terriffic storytelling voice. Once we got out of the water, I asked him how he managed to breathe underwater and talk in such a great voice. Turns out, he was another (famous) author writing stories for the little girl's collection, and a "truly remarkable man" (so said my aunt). I'll admit, he was a pretty swell guy ... who looked like Bob Barker sans the orange tan. But he told me he could talk and breathe underwater just by rolling his tongue and sticking it slightly outside of his mounth.

Here the dream takes a turn. My aunt lived in a giant apartment complex, filled with huge, luxuray apartments. Condominuims, perhaps. Like something from "Diff'rent Strokes." I found myself in the hallway of said apartment complex, and I couldn't find my way around. It was like the maze from hell. Suddenly, I had the biggest craving for "cat milk," which I had never tried. So ... I found another condo with a stage inside it. I ran accross the stage, and exited through a backstage door into a warehouse-sized freezer (that looked strangely like Sam's). Once inside, I looked around like mad for a carton of "cat milk," and finally found it. I paid (far too much) for it, then took off the cap and gave it a try. Terrible. It tasted a bit like orange juice.

That's the whole dream. The craziest part is ... I haven't slept so hard in months. When I woke up, I felt heavier than I ever have before. It was miserable. Just a little afternoon nap ... or a trip into another dimension?!? You make the call.

The calm

Crisp air. A ghost town. A glowing horizon.

I'm at home there.

Rock Lobster

I went to a wedding this weekend. I arrived in McKinney yesterday just in time for the rehersal, which was followed by a delicious, yet chaotic dinner at Buca de Bepo.

This morning, a bunch of guys got together for a "tool shower," to stock the groom up with all the tools he'll ever need. Wedding photos were at 11:30, and the ceremony itself was at 2:00. I was a groomsman, so I had the joy of wearing a delightful little tuxedo. You know I'm all into that.

I had a good time ... it was great to see all the people I ran around with in high school. But this wedding made me especially nervous. The bride was two years younger than myself and the groom, so she's my brother's age. That puts me on edge, for some reason. She's ridiculously mature, but it's just strange to see a girl who's always seemed so young to me ... getting married.

Granted, I've had plently of friends who were married at younger ages, but they weren't younger than me. It just freaks me out a bit. But all in all, a fun weekend. Those two are perfect.

Well I had the most remarkable idea last night. Most of you will think I'm kidding, but I'm not so sure that's true this time ...

A wedding musical (or opera, or rock opera, for that matter). The idea is to set the entire wedding -- the vows and all -- to epic orchestral music. The bride and groom would have to sing, of course, and there would be a choir involved. I can picture lighting effects, dancers ... the whole bit. A wedding performed by the bridal party (plus others) in a flashy Broadway style. I think if people have to sit through a wedding, they'd better be entertained. And what better way to entertain them than to turn the wedding into a well-rehersed stage show? It's bulletproof. It doesn't have to be corny, either ... the songs must be sincere, well-written, and beautiful ... it's possible.

I started writing it in the car on the way back to Waco. That's how pumped I am about this idea. Maybe when I get married in ten years or so, my opus will be complete, and I'll talk my really hip and tolerant fiancée into letting me perform it. We could take the wedding on the road, if it gets good reviews.